Homeschool Yes Or No?
The debate on home schooling continues. Having never home schooled my children I can’t blog from experience but I am going to weigh in on some thoughts. I see pros and cons about home schooling. So let’s first look at the pros I see. BTW, feel free to weigh in and enlighten me if you see areas I missed.
You can tailor your child’s educational time to fit their body clock. I can see where this would make for a better learning environment. You can offer your children one-on-one attention as they learn provided you are proficient on the subject they are studying. You don’t have to move on to the next level of learning until your child completely comprehends it. You can decide what they will learn and what they will not. You also have the ability to shelter your child from the things in society that you’d rather not have them exposed to.
The cons I see are that I have never seen it done consistently or well. It may just be the people I know, but I see haggard moms whose children don’t have a set schedule of learning time. So structure is what I haven’t seen. This makes me wonder about preparedness for life when order and schedules rule the day. I haven’t seen the availability of tutors on subjects that the parents weren’t proficient in. Honestly, I would never have been able to teach English. I hated it in school and I would project that feeling I would think. I wonder about socialization. I see some home school groups who get together and do field trips and I think that’s great but I feel sad about the things missed. I think passing notes in class, playing hopscotch at recess and boys chase the girls are things kids miss out on. I also see that at least in my circles the children are receiving GED diplomas rather than high school diplomas that limit the availability of colleges. I know this has to do with certain charters and curriculums though.
Home school parents seem to question why other parents don’t home school. For us, in our home, we are just not disciplined enough to set a format together and go with it. I also know I don’t have the patience it takes. Then there is the fact that I loved school. I had fun in school and I wouldn’t want my children to miss out on that.
The public school parents think the home school parents are overprotective fanatics. I don’t think that. I think we all have to do what’s best for our children. For our family the structure of a school is best. For your family your home may be the best place to learn. I think every family has to decide that for themselves.
In either case a healthy balance and socialization outside of the home environment I think is important. With these things in place I believe home school can work only when parents get the proper help needed, as in curriculum, tutors and training. I look forward to being enlightened.
Well when it comes to our children’s education I think we as parents want the best for our children. In my personal experience and opinion I find homeschooling rather good for my kids. I have a 1st grader and a 9th grader in homeschool. I see the improvement on their part. I know that sometimes there is certain issues that you kind of struggle with at home with the curriculum,(reading level, english, math,ect.)but then again it’s the same thing happening at school. In school you get pull out of the class for an hour or two if you are having trouble in certain areas making them miss part of that class session, having them go back to class after that and trying to pick up where they left of or trying to understand what they missed while they were gone for that hour or so. I had comments of people tell me it was not right to do that with my kids, that I was isolating them from society, they needed to experience the pressure from school and stuff. For me I think it’s like serving a platter of temptation on the table, I think if you could do anything to avoid it, why not do it. After all you tell your kids what to do and what not to do but above all to be fearful of God and whether you see them or not they are going to do what is in their heart. One of the things I pray for is for them to make the right decision. As far as over protected I don’t think that applies to me. If God gave me the privilege to be their mother well then I will do what I think is best for them of course with God’s approval first. I asked God first if this was okay with him and I told him how I felt about why I wanted to do homeschooling. Well I can just say this, God answered in mysterious way. I know as they grow up the will have their own opinion and will, to do what they think is right for them, but as for now I as a parent see that this is working for them. My daughter is getting good grades and I see how my son tells me what he is learning day by day and his improvement in reading. I also think they need the socialization as kids and teens but what difference does it make right know in school with the kids out of control there is more of you belong in this group, you don’t, you have brand clothing, you don’t so you can’t be our friend. Kids right now don’t want to socialize unless you have the requirements to be part of their circle, group, or club.
For anyone who wants to try it, I would say give it a try you don’t loose anything. Maybe for some Children this can be the opportunity to discover their potential. http://www.k12.com is the main web page.
http://www.caliva.org is the web page for CA .
Comment by Iris — October 20, 2007 @ 8:56 am
IM allows homeschoolers to pass notes in class.
Some homeschoolers are very structured (like me; mainly because I like structure), others are not but I have never seen that it created problems for children later in life. After all; all of us have places we have to be on time - doctors appointments, field trips, etc. Even the unstructured homeschoolers somehow manage to get their acts together long enough to get where they need to be.
Some homeschoolers don’t even have diplomas or GED’s like my 18 year old son who is in his third year of a Computer Science Degree at a University. He scored high enough on his ACT to get early admission to college and started at 16. The high school diploma isn’t really that important anymore. Most Universities these days will accept homeschool diplomas and are more then happy to work with homeschoolers.
BTW: My 18 year old is paying for his university education (what his scholarship didn’t cover) by working after his classes and on weekends.
Comment by Alasandra — October 20, 2007 @ 12:49 pm
We’ve been home schooling our kids for the last 7 years. Yes, it can be challenging and there are days when I want to enroll them in the nearest public school! But, I’ve done both public and home school with my kids and public school just didn’t “fit” in our schedule. I know that may sound silly, but when our kids wanted to attend a funeral for a cm who was dear to them, the schools wanted to tell us “their spelling test is more important”. When kids were bullying our younger son, the public school said “there’s nothing we can do”. And, when lock-down drills became the norm in the local elementary school, but the school officials NEVER informed the parents, we’d had enough.
Home schooling has been an answer to prayer and a calling from God. It has allowed us to have a say in what our children are learning and when. It has allowed us to meet the medical needs of one of our boys when he was very ill. I never worry about socialization after the day at the mall when our 2nd oldest son was about 6 noticed a woman pushing a stroller with 2 babies in it. She sat down to feed her grandbabies and our son went over to her (while I was keeping an eye on him) and started a conversation with her about babies, the kind of food they eat, and how old her grandchildren were. Our kids participate in activities–our 3rd son is an artist and sells his artwork at our church’s fundraising events. 5 of our children will be starting basketball in November. Our daughters love the Little House on the Prairie dresses and both have no qualms about “dressing up” and then going out in public –which tells me they are independent and not worried about what other people think of them, nor do my girls worry about following the latest fads/trends “just b/c everyone else is doing it”. They all play well together and apart and have more dreams and goals in the works at ages 8-12 than I ever did as a kid. They are proficient at using the computer, read a lot, have no problems striking up conversations with others and frankly, work harder in one school day than public schooled kids I’ve met. Our kids are able to work at their own pace, yet are challenged by the curriculum my husband and I choose. We expect a lot out of them every single day, both school and life related. We give them report cards so they (and we) can see their progress. If they are learning something we don’t do well in, we provide them with tutoring resources and learn along with them. I don’t believe my dh and I shelter our kids as we talk about world events, the news, politics, sex (age appropriately of course!), friendships, frustrations, etc. If they have questions they can bring them up at any time and not wait until they’ve spent a day in school and then come home from school to ask us.
We home school b/c it works for us and public school did not. We home school b/c God laid it on my heart to do so, though I fought it tooth and nail for some time. When our kids were in public school for a short time, our days went something like this: Get up terribly early and rush to get them fed and dressed and to the bus stop. Spend the day cleaning, running errands, doing my own homework, going to class. After school, meet them at the bus stop, get them a snack, get on to them about getting their homework done, get them fed, bathed, in bed. Then, we’d get up and do it all over again. We all hated it and found it such a relief to stop doing it. Our days are still pretty structured, but the structure looks different. My dh manages the home schooling, cooking, cleaning while I work during the days. When I get home, he gets time to do his school work and sermon prep or take a nap while I grade the kids papers, tutor them if they need help(on Wednesday nights), and grab a few minutes to do my own homework. Dh and I make dinner together and we all sit down as a family to eat. Then, it’s mandatory study time for the kids whose grades are not what we’d like to see and study time for dh and I. Reading time starts at 8:30 and lights out are at nine. Then, dh and I get more time to study or spend some time together before he goes to work by midnight. My kids get more “dad time” than I ever dreamed of having as a kid and our family is close without being enmeshed. Those days when I want to send them to the nearest public school are getting fewer and farther between as we continue to learn to live and learn together. And, some day they’ll be grown and out on their own and I’ll look back and be glad I had this time with them.
Comment by shrnkintraining — October 20, 2007 @ 2:07 pm
This is our third year homeschooling. While the first year was hard it’s gotten much better at time has gone by. I have never regretted our decision. I don’t judge those who don’t homeschool. After all I went to public school when I was a child so I would be judging my parent’s LOL. I think we all do what we feel is right for our children and for each of us it’s different. As for things missed I don’t think they miss much. They can go outside and play hopscotch and probly for longer periods of time then kids that go to public school. It doesn’t take nearly as long doing their school work as it does for a typical public school. Less interuptions, which gives them more time to play. As for socialization that really is a big misconception because most homeschooled kids are in things like boy scouts or girl scouts, sports, homeschool groups, music lesson’s ect… As for a diploma there are many options in that department. There is places where your child can get an actual diploma and more and more collages are accepting homeschoolers. As for things I don’t know a lot about to teach there are many options in that too. For instance I am teaching my boy’s sign language. Now I don’t know it but the Library has a lot of books on it and also we are blessed to have a neighbor that is an expert in sign language and she helps fill in the things I can’t teach. Not only that but in all education weather homeschooled or public schooled there are educational gaps. I will try not to get too many gaps for them and get the best for them but no one is perfect. I hope that helps you out in understanding? Ok sorry I babbled on LOL.
Comment by Jody — October 20, 2007 @ 5:43 pm
Thanks for the input. Maybe the things I thought were the problem really aren’t. You seem to being to a good job handling it all.
Comment by tlc4women — October 22, 2007 @ 1:54 pm
Hi there. Your blog entry came up on my daily Google alerts, so I thought I’d stop by and see what you had to say.
I’m a homeschooler and I think you bring up some really good points. These are points that parents do need to consider, no matter which educational option they choose - are my children’s needs being met?
Unfortunately, there are parents in all realms who don’t think about this. And when parents don’t think about it, in any educational setting, the kids lose. Even in public school.
So, the questions are valid, but they are valid not just for homeschoolers, but for everyone.
Here are some comments on your concerns:
Parents being haggard: In my experience, I’ve seen far more haggard parents whose children go to public school than those that homeschool. In my own family experience, we’re rarely haggard. A few of my friends are stressed out homeschoolers. But it’s more their personality than the homeschooling thing. My stressed out friends are generally overachievers.
You asked about preparedness for life: Well, that’s actually one of the reasons we decided to homeschool. Because we get to actually live life, instead of prepare for it. Why do we ask our kids to spend 13 or more years to “prepare” for life, when they could spend their time actually living it? It seems to me that the best way to be ready for something is to already be doing it. So, for the example of our schedules and order… well, to be honest, there is definitely a certain kind of order and scheduling in adult life, but rarely does it look like school. It varies depending on what kind of life we lead. And what we want to do. Following school schedules doesn’t prepare us for anything except following school schedules. And even that, sometimes, it doesn’t do very well. I remember how hard it was to get up for my college courses, and I was a very good little school student. Suddenly, when the iron hand wasn’t there to scare the bejeebus out of me for not going to school on time, I suddenly found it difficult to get up. Yet, when I had a job that I loved, I had no problem getting up at all way earlier than school ever asked me to. What did school teach me about getting my behind out of bed in the morning? Not much. That’s why I don’t worry about homeschoolers who don’t have schedules. They may not do what we think is “right”, but they get along. Just like we all do.
And about missing out on things: I love this one because, so many times in my life I’ve had to make a decision that required me to “miss out”. What happens in life is that no matter what decision we make, we miss out on something. Homeschoolers get to do a lot of things that school kids miss out on. We have picnics at the park for lunch, go to Disneyland on a whim (and nobody is there, so we get to talk to the bored cast members who tell us all the inside scoop), we go on road trips off season, we hang with friends for hours and hours, we get to do volunteer work that others can’t because they are in school, the kids don’t get exposed to as many illnesses (like lice), when they get sick they can take as long as they need to get better (and don’t get behind in work), they have time to read for hours on end and read as many books as they like, they aren’t rushed, they can be who they are and not have to be pressured into dressing a certain way or being beautiful… the list goes on and on. Yes, homeschool kids DO miss out on things. I agree with you 100% on that. I sometimes get sad that my kids won’t experience some of the really good things I experienced in school. Then I see just how many good experiences they are having that are things I never experienced. They are leading a different life than I knew, but they are all very happy with their lives. They have full, interesting and fulfilling lives. So, even if they are missing out, they aren’t at a disadvantage. It’s like this - People who grow up in a small town are missing out on big city things. People who grow up in a big city, miss out on small town things. Neither are inherently better. But both are “missing out.” When all these people get to be adults, they can recover some of the things they thought they missed. But whichever path they take, they are gonna be OK. It all works out in the end.
There are some loud homeschoolers who claim that everyone should homeschool. But, you know, there are also loud public school activists who say the same thing. It’s all about not being able to see the big picture. And there will always be people out there who can’t. Ignore them. Most homeschoolers don’t believe that it’s the right and only way to live. And don’t confuse enthusiasm with trying to convert the world. Sometimes, people who tout homeschooling awesomeness are just expressing their happiness of having found a new amazing thing. Kind of like how people will encourage their friends to try a new restaurant.
So, I don’t think there’s really a debate on homeschooling/public school. I more see it as an inability for most people to see beyond their own personal world, and are trying to defend it. In my opinion, they both good, in their own way.
Comment by Tammy — October 22, 2007 @ 6:43 pm
[...] Homeschooling Stress October 23rd, 2007 — Tammy I made a book-length comment on the Transforming Life Center blog today, so I thought I’d post it over here too. Are you stressed or missing out? What do you [...]
Pingback by Homeschoolers Miss Out and Homeschooling Stress « Just Enough, and Nothing More — October 23, 2007 @ 3:02 pm
I did not want to dominate your comments section, so ‘enlightenment’ (such as it is) is here:
http://openpath.blogspot.com/2007/10/response-to-other-blogger.html
Comment by Anna — October 23, 2007 @ 7:42 pm
Found you via Tammy’s blog (with the entry right above this one). Her response, I believe, is excellent, but then, I’m biased, because I regularly read her blog and really appreciate her insight.
We’re in our 6th year of homeschooling; three of my four children are homeschooled. I really hope we’re able to continue for the “long haul,” through high school, though I initially simply set out to teach my children to read before they started “real” school. That first year, not only did my 5yo learn to read, my 3yo did, too. It wasn’t a walk in the park — tears were shed by everyone, I think, except the 3yo — but it was successful. That first year really made me start to question the environment of “normal” schools. If I had such a simple time of it, why are hundreds of thousands of children struggling and failing in public schools? My experience (only one year, and two children at that point) showed that it just wasn’t that hard!
After a great deal of thought on that subject, I think it just boils down to the fact that there’s a LOT going on in traditional classrooms other than teaching and learning. When one simplifies the process, one can fit in a whole lot of learning into a much shorter school day, and everyone can have a more productive, pleasant time of it.
That said, I think successful homeschoolers know their limits. My second child has a learning disorder which also affects his motor skills. So, we have him under the continuing care of a developmental pediatrician, and I have him in occupational therapy. Both his doc and his OT are highly supportive of me hs’ing; we have all seen tremendous strides in Grant’s abilities.
My oldest son loves baseball. Well, that’s simple: we got him into Little League. He’s only 10 right now, but I checked into it, and he *can* play on our local public high school team, when he’s of that age.
There are other examples I could give, but it boils down to doing MOST of our activities and learning at home, but calling in support when that is the wisest option.
There are some anti-society, anti-public-anything, isolationist homeschoolers. But, I think most of us are simply trying to do the best for our children, and have seen that their little lives flourish within a homeschooled environment.
As far as teaching what you don’t know/aren’t good at: Well, the good news is that most homeschoolers start with Kindergarten. There isn’t much in K that any mom can’t do successfully. Then, you move on to 1st grade, of course, and so on. IOW, you, as the mother/teacher, have the opportunity to learn right along with your children. In my book, that’s one of the perks of hs’ing; my education doesn’t end, either. BUT, sometimes, you have to know your limits, there, too. Like last year, I gave up a foreign language after only 8 or 9 weeks because it was just too much; I couldn’t do it. So, this year, I got the DVD. So, the DVD teacher is teaching my oldest a foreign language that I do not know, and all I do, basically, is just check up on his work.
As a homeschooling mom, I can choose — and my kids can choose — what my kids participate in. Team sports? Through a city or other league. Art? At home, or classes through an art store or community center. High school biology? Try a co-op or a DVD series. Chasing eachother on the playground? What about your church’s kids’ programs, or simply the park, or the play area at Burger King?
Most of my kids’ friends are not homeschooled, and we get invited to a lot of functions at other schools — band concerts, high school basketball games, etc. There are a LOT of ways to “make up for” the things that you may fear they won’t get to experience.
OTOH, you also avoid a lot of the cr@p associated with public (and other) schools. I mean, I went to a Christian school, yet dealt with fifth graders bringing a bottle of alcohol to school, 7th graders losing their virginity, 10th graders getting arrested for drug offenses…
To address a few other issues you mention: If you’re not organized — there are TONS of ready-made curricula which already have the lesson plans made out for you.
If you’re not patient — well, you can learn.
Also, I think you’ll find that once your child(ren) are at home, they’re more pleasant, and they will likely enjoy homeschooling. IOW, the experience won’t require saintly patience from you.
Also… there are some “haggard” moms who are stressed out and seem to be tremendously disorganized. But, the good news is that education lasts 13+ years. That’s a long time to iron out difficulties and learn how to make schooling at home work for one’s family. I know I’m MUCH more organized now than when I started, six years ago. Sometimes, it just takes a bit to get the bugs worked out, and to find out what style of hs’ing is successful for both the kids and the mom.
I don’t pressure others to homeschool. I don’t even imply it, because I don’t think it. It’s a huge commitment, and not to be taken lightly, and NOT to be coerced into. I know a few hs’ing families, but most of our friends and all of our extended family “regular” school. If someone is interested in hs’ing, I will offer all the assistance and input they want, but I have never pressured anyone to homeschool.
I try to take the perceived pressure off others, too. A single mother from my oldest son’s baseball team and I were watching a game together. At hand, we each also had another son. She asked me how old my son was. “He’s eight,” I replied. Then, she remarked, sort of to her other son, sort of to me, “Wow. An 8yo with a giant vocabulary. Must be because he’s homeschooled.” I said, “Well, he actually has a really odd learning disability where his language skills are through the roof, but there are other areas in which he struggles.”
I don’t want to paint myself (or other hs’ers) as better-than-thou, smarter-than-thou, or whatever. It just works for us, and we’re all happy with it.
(Sorry — I didn’t intend for this comment to get so long!! Thanks to anyone who is still reading.)
Comment by Karen Joy — October 23, 2007 @ 8:46 pm
[...] 23rd, 2007 by dialogus Over at Tammy’s I ran across her response to a Transforming Life center blog post about homeschooling vs. public school. Before I read her self-described “book [...]
Pingback by Response to Another Blogger on Home vs. Public School « Dialogus’s Weblog — October 23, 2007 @ 11:37 pm